"The 45-year-old ICE official told reporters he had “hit the jackpot” when he realized that because his wife of over a decade had been born in Guatemala and crossed the border with her parents as a 3-year-old child, he could just wake up, meet his arrest quota first thing in the morning, and then have the remainder of the day to slack off.
“I knew about Maria’s immigration status when we got married—the crazy thing is that I hadn’t thought of deporting her until now,” said Hammond, adding that the whole process, which included kicking down his house’s front door, drawing a gun on his terrified spouse, and zip-tying his two young children, was completed in “record time.” “It was awesome. I was able to do the raid without leaving my home and ship my family off to an immigrant detention center all before 9 a.m.”
“Now I have the whole rest of my day to terrorize other immigrants,” Hammond added from behind his mask. “Of course, the best part is I’ll actually be able to fucking relax when I get home.”
https://theonion.com/ice-agent-scores-easy-win-by-deporting-own-family/
