Real conversation...

Girlfriend: "Do you know what I love about being in a relationship? Free back scratches."

Me: "That for sure is a perk."

GF: "Right? Back scratches are the best! What's something you enjoy about being in a relationship?"

Me: "I get to see your boobs."

GF: 😐

Me: "What!??! It scratches a different kind of itch."

GF: "You are so lucky that I love you."

Me: "You don't have to tell me that! I get to see boobs everyday!" 😃