Hello 👋

I'm giving Mastodon another go after quietly despairing about the awfulness of normie social media.

I'm a late diagnosed autistic humanoid, living in tranquil rural sometimes- bliss with my wife and dog, in Cornwall, UK.

I'm a freelance copywriter, voracious reader and aspiring writer of crime fiction, history geek & nature lover.

It would be good to connect with nice folks whoever and wherever you may be.

#Introductions

#actuallyautistic
#books
#writing
#crimefiction
#history

I’ve been trying to explain two autistic / AuDHD experiences that I have to a non-autistic loved one for a couple of years now, but I’m finding it really hard!

1. The first: difficulty with uncertainty.

I explain this like it is an anxiety that diminishes the more information I gain that reduces the levels of uncertainty. But the word “anxiety” makes my loved one interpret it as always being about fear, just like anxiety usually means more generally. E.g. fear, on any level, even minor, of a potential negative event happening in the future. But I am not always afraid or worried, so this interpretation doesn’t work. It’s purely the uncertainty itself I find hard to deal with, and I can experience this around things I enjoy and when know there will be no negative outcomes at all. It relates strongly to disliking surprises. E.g. if I am walking from A to B and someone suddenly bumps into me, I HATE that! But if I choose to walk in a busy crowd, I expect people to bump into me and it’s totally fine. I hate being uncertain whether someone will bump into me or not, too.

2. The second topic can be totally separate or experienced together with the first: anticipation!

I have also tried to explain this as like a form of anxiety, but I have frequently felt this anticipation before hugely and purely positive events! It relates to something coming up soon that I am not familiar with. Familiarity in this sense usually only happens when I have either done things so frequently in my life that I can’t forget it, or I’ve experienced it about 3 or so times in the last month. This means revisiting a favourite restaurant that I haven’t been to for a year would cause this type of anticipation. The anticipation often stops me from being able to sleep the night before and my mind is often running through how the event might unfold, planning and so on, even if all the plans are already made and all preparation already done. As I said before, this often happens with purely positive events, so it’s so strange to explain it!

I suspect that these two experiences are very common for autistic people, and the latter, anticipation, probably affects lots of neurodivergent people. I wondered if my ADHD is influencing the anticipation, for example, and maybe I’m just wanting to remember what I need to do for the event since I likely can’t use a routine for something unfamiliar to me? I don’t know! In this case, perhaps anticipation WOULD be classic anxiety since it relates to fear of forgetting something important or losing track of time. But sometimes it’s just an impatient feeling.

What do you think?

Does anyone else experience these two things? Perhaps in a different way to me? If so, how would you describe it to someone who has never experienced it?

@autistics

#AskingAutistics #ADHD #AuDHD #ActuallyAutistic

Hello 👋

I'm giving Mastodon another go after quietly despairing about the awfulness of normie social media.

I'm a late diagnosed autistic humanoid, living in tranquil rural sometimes- bliss with my wife and dog, in Cornwall, UK.

I'm a freelance copywriter, voracious reader and aspiring writer of crime fiction, history geek & nature lover.

It would be good to connect with nice folks whoever and wherever you may be.

#Introductions

#actuallyautistic
#books
#writing
#crimefiction
#history

@autistics #ActuallyAutistic just restrained myself from sharing information to prevent from being called a “smart ass", but what in reality is (to me at least) should be common knowledge

@autistics #ActuallyAutistic just restrained myself from sharing information to prevent from being called a “smart ass", but what in reality is (to me at least) should be common knowledge

Introducing: prepped.to

A service for and by #ActuallyAutistic people.

Ever wanted to know what a new place will be like before going? Noise levels, lighting, sensory stimulation?

Now we can help each other find our way and be prepared too!

@autistics

I’ve been trying to explain two autistic / AuDHD experiences that I have to a non-autistic loved one for a couple of years now, but I’m finding it really hard!

1. The first: difficulty with uncertainty.

I explain this like it is an anxiety that diminishes the more information I gain that reduces the levels of uncertainty. But the word “anxiety” makes my loved one interpret it as always being about fear, just like anxiety usually means more generally. E.g. fear, on any level, even minor, of a potential negative event happening in the future. But I am not always afraid or worried, so this interpretation doesn’t work. It’s purely the uncertainty itself I find hard to deal with, and I can experience this around things I enjoy and when know there will be no negative outcomes at all. It relates strongly to disliking surprises. E.g. if I am walking from A to B and someone suddenly bumps into me, I HATE that! But if I choose to walk in a busy crowd, I expect people to bump into me and it’s totally fine. I hate being uncertain whether someone will bump into me or not, too.

2. The second topic can be totally separate or experienced together with the first: anticipation!

I have also tried to explain this as like a form of anxiety, but I have frequently felt this anticipation before hugely and purely positive events! It relates to something coming up soon that I am not familiar with. Familiarity in this sense usually only happens when I have either done things so frequently in my life that I can’t forget it, or I’ve experienced it about 3 or so times in the last month. This means revisiting a favourite restaurant that I haven’t been to for a year would cause this type of anticipation. The anticipation often stops me from being able to sleep the night before and my mind is often running through how the event might unfold, planning and so on, even if all the plans are already made and all preparation already done. As I said before, this often happens with purely positive events, so it’s so strange to explain it!

I suspect that these two experiences are very common for autistic people, and the latter, anticipation, probably affects lots of neurodivergent people. I wondered if my ADHD is influencing the anticipation, for example, and maybe I’m just wanting to remember what I need to do for the event since I likely can’t use a routine for something unfamiliar to me? I don’t know! In this case, perhaps anticipation WOULD be classic anxiety since it relates to fear of forgetting something important or losing track of time. But sometimes it’s just an impatient feeling.

What do you think?

Does anyone else experience these two things? Perhaps in a different way to me? If so, how would you describe it to someone who has never experienced it?

@autistics

#AskingAutistics #ADHD #AuDHD #ActuallyAutistic